If your suicidal please read this!

    Fix your hair, put on your make-up, put on your clothes, fake a smile, keep acting like your happy because you think no one would care. well you have me, I've been there I know how your feeling, I know it hurts, and I know its killing you. But just listen to me because this could save your life.
   I have a question and I want an honest answer, actually I have a few so wait and tell me after.
How do you think it would make your family feel? If you took the next step and went in for the kill? You'll be gone so you wont have to hurt, but your being selfish by leaving them in the dirt. I know in some cases you think you Mom doesn't care, but she gave birth to you, you know she will care.
  No one said life would be easy, but your blessed to be alive. Id give anything to have my friend back, but I couldn't save her so I'm trying to save you. Suicide isn't a joke so think before you do. It gets better even though it may seem like things will never change, you just have to give it time. You cant see the future you don't know what's going to happen. What if you become famous and turn out to be an actress?
   Do you really want to take your life early? Do you really want all your friends and family to be hurting? No? Well than pick your head up, I need you to be strong. I know its tough, I need you to promise me that you wont hold it in. And if your feeling suicidal, promise that you'll talk to a friend. Because I wanna see you smile, I wanna see a lot of them. (:   
   Stay strong! Just know things will get better!
                                                                          Sincerely, Caitlin<3

Your jokes arnt funny...

   I have something very important to talk about today. So please listen...

    4 years ago Amanda Todd committed, 1 year ago Jade Staples committed suicide, a few months ago my friend Jamie committed suicide. But do you know what they all had in common? They were all bullied for who they were, for what they did, and they all self-harmed.
   Bullying isn't a joke, it hurts more than you think. Bullying leads to self-harm or self-destruction. Then they have enough of it and committee suicide. They got to a point to were they started feeling worthless, not good enough, stupid, ugly, ect. They felt like no one cared, if they just disappear no one would notice. But they were wrong, we all noticed. Everyday I sit and wonder how people can be so mean, how they can hurt others.
    When you make a joke about people being fat or ugly, you might not notice but it does hurt some people more than you think. Don't make jokes about self harm, eating disorders, or suicide because you never know what the people around you are going through. You might think its all funny and just one big joke. But think about this for a minute, what if your brother or sister committee suicide? How would you feel? Would you finally realize your joke isn't funny? Is that what has to happen before you stop bullying people? I mean come on society, wake up and realize bullying isn't a joke. How many more people have to committee suicide before society realizes suicide isn't a joke?
   Jade Staples was one of my really good friends, that night when I found out was the hardest nights ever for me. I remember sitting in my room talking on the phone with my boyfriend while I was going through Instagram. I saw a post on Jade's best friends page that said she was gone. I got off the phone with my BF and I sat there shaking and crying. I could barley breath, I didn't know what to do. All I could think was why? Why her? People bullied her to the point of suicide, Jade just gave up on life. All because of bullies...
   Is your joke still funny?

Horses...

   Today I went over to this ladies house with my mom, sister, brother, and a friend, she owns 9 horses. They are all rescue horses, they have all been abused or abandon. Most of them are very friendly, but then a few of them are skittish. There's this one horse, her name is Magic, she was left alone in a huge filed for years and no one rode her or anything. Magic wouldn't let anyone near her, each time I tried to go pet her she would walk off in a scarred way. I looked at her and I could tell by her eyes and ears that she was scarred, it was like she was frightened. My mom and I are going to try and break her, if you don't know about horses that means to be able to ride her. Magic is a Morgan, which is her breed, Morgan's are amazing barrel racing horses. So if we can break her, I'm going to talk to the her owner and see if she will let me barrel race Magic. I'm so excited to start working with her, the lady is also letting me work with the other horses. Tomorrow I'm going over to her house and I'm going to work with them. She's letting me braid there mains, wash them, and whatever else she needs done. I guess you could say this is my summer job since I have nothing else to do this summer.
    Being around those horses today was completely amazing, the smell of them some people would say stinks but me, the smell is amazing. Literally everything about hoses is just completely amazing, I love to be around them. When I'm with horses its like I'm in a completely different world, like nothing can change the way I feel inside. Its so amazing, anyone who has never ridden needs to try it out, at least once.
   
  

A Little About Me

      This is my first blog on here, I guess I'm excited but then again don't really know what to write about. Its funny because I've wanted to start this for a while now but yet I don't know what to write about... So, I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself.
     I am a military child, we used to move around a lot before my Dad retired. It was a hard life for me, but it was extremely fun. We always got to see things none of my friends have seen, Like the Eiffel tower. Moving so much was the hard part, I would go to one school for at least 6 to 12 months than move somewhere else. Once middle school started we found a place we liked and I knew for once we wouldn't move in 12 months. I would make friends than next thing I know I have to move, pretty hard for a kid.
      I am a big time soccer player, I started playing in 6th grade. I wasn't the best soccer player on the team, but I tried my best. Over the years I have gotten better, I just keep practicing. Soccer means a lot to me, Its more than just a sport its my life. My coach once told me that if this is something I love than I should keep practicing because it will make me better. I also play a little bit of Softball, I started playing this past season so I would have something to do with my sister. I was definitely not to good at softball, but it was a lot of fun. I think I might play next season just to keep spending time with my sister.
     I love music, its one of the many things I love. For me music is my way out of things, like the world. When times get tough I always know music is there for me if nothing else is. One song can easily change the way I feel. Some people have a best friend they can go to when there upset but for me its different. My best friend lives 1000 miles away from me, its not like I can just drive to her house any time I want. You know?
     And one more thing about me is I love horses. I love the smell of them, the sight of them, the noises they make, etc.. I plan out just love every little thing about them, but I mainly love to ride them. Most people that have never been next to a horse are normally scared of them, but me I'm not. I've never owned one, but I want to in the future. I've always been around them though, if it was going to where my mom worked at one point in time, or going on trail rides. Riding is just so therapeutic, its like when I'm on a horse everything just stops for a little while and like nothing can get in the way or hurt me. Its sorta like I'm blocked by this huge wall that keeps reality out for a little while, but once its gone I feel so fearless. To anyone whos never rode before I strongly suggest it, its amazing.
   Well, I think this is enough for right now, I really hope yall like my blog.